Eaton v Irregulars 8/8/13

Format: 20 overs, everyone (bowlers and pie chuckers), except for the wicket keeper, to bowl 2 overs. Result: Irregulars 117-7 off 20 overs, Eaton 109-4 off 20 overs. Irregulars win by 8 runs. Thursday 8th August saw the Irregulars take on the Duke of Westminster’s finest XI. It was another fine summer’s evening and the irregulars arrived early enthusiastically awaiting to play, or to maybe sneak in a cheeky pork pie or can before the game? It also gave the chance for some of the irregulars to discuss whether we should bat or bowl first. With an 11 who could all bat(ish), the skipper had thought he would bat first if the toss was won and set an impossible target to chase down, especially with the nights drawing in, although the consensus amongst others was that we should have a bowl first. The time arrived for skipper for the game, Phil, to stroll out to the square with the oppositions skipper to decide who would bat or bowl. The opposition skipper apologised for the greenness of the wicket and assured me that the groundsman would be hung drawn and quartered at first dawn. Being out of earshot from his faithful crew the skipper decided to let his 5 year old son call heads or tails, and won. The aforementioned 5 year old then decided we should have a bat first. On return to the clubhouse the skipper of course said he had lost the toss and we had been put into bat (had we lost the game this little pork pie would have remained between me and Sam). Phil was not worried in the slightest though as the new skipper had planned meticulously, writing down batting and bowling orders, and fielding positions down beforehand. These carefully made plans were definitely not going to be shared with the opposition… or anyone else as they were left behind on the skippers coffee table. The strategy was to get off to a quick start and demoralise the opposition and so Rahul and Gray were sent in to open with instructions to get on with it with a strong battling line up to follow. Both scored quickly and when Rahul departed for 12 in the 4th over the irregulars had amassed 17 runs. Nick then joined Gray in the middle and Gray, who was now seeing the ball like a football, started to smash the ball around in what may be his best innings for the irregulars. Nick hit a couple of well timed 4s before offering up a catch and being out for 8. The scoring rate was still very healthy and when Nick departed 7th over the score was on 37. Enter Dev, on his return from a long list of injuries. Dev came in very aggressive and scored very quickly, hitting two 4s before being bowled for 13 and helping to take our score on to 59 in the ninth over. Hopefully we will get a few more games out of Dev next season. Everything was going to plan with the top 4 scoring quickly, now time to stop the wickets falling at one end, especially with Gray due to retire, and enter Neil Bartlem, with strict instructions to fight his natural instincts and to play conservatively and not give his wicket away. Gray was about to retire and Harry was due to join his dad in the middle, cue the bribes for Harry to run his dad out. In previous years Harry has always dismissed such ideas very quickly but for the first time he seemed genuinely interested, especially with the price reaching £25, but Gray spoilt negotiations by reaching 25 and retiring before Harry had taken the deal. I feel next season may be the year Harry cracks. A stunning innings by Gray, retired on 25, and never looked in trouble. Everyone was now on their iPhones accessing the betting odds on which Bartlem would score quickest. A lot of money was being put on the more experienced Bartlem, but with odds of 1000-1  everyone fancied a flutter. Harry first scoring shot was a textbook cover drive for 4. What was to follow from Harry was at times more Irregulars than Northop seconds as he was dropped on 2 (maybe 3) occasions, although he still went on to score a valuable quick fire 23, which included three 4s and a 6. The score had moved on to 97 after 14 overs. Enter the days skipper to put finishing touches to his master plan. Exit the days skipper to let someone else do it. Amaresh was next to the crease and added 2 before being bowled by the quick Withemshaw. Eaton had clearly held back some of their better bowlers and with the incoming batsmen trying to throw their bats as soon as they went in we lost a few quick wickets although Neil was still hanging around keeping the scoreboard ticking over. Realising that our 20 overs were nearly finished Mike thought he would raid the buffet and open a fresh can of Fosters before the opposition made their way to the buffet. He was caught off guard by Phil and Amaresh returning to the clubhouse so quickly so strode out to the middle in a foul mood thinking about his ice cold amber nectar which was quickly warming in the evening sun. He returned to the clubhouse without troubling the scorers to enjoy his still ice cold can of Fosters. Steve came in at number 10, while Hobbs frantically ran around looking for his box and borrowing pads, bat, helmet, gloves ………. I had had a conversation with Steve before the game to see if he wanted to bat in the top order but he assured me 10 or 11 were perfect for him because of his eyesight. I think I was more amused than Steve then when the first ball he faced was of the quicker variety, just off his chin. He played it well though down to third man and went on to finish on 2 not out with Neil still there at the other end finishing on 17 not out including a well hit 4 in the 19th over. A well played innings by Neil. 117-7 off 20 overs. A good score but without some of our more regular bowlers like Richard, Tariq and Wayne we would need to be sharp in the field, something which isn’t always associated with the irregulars. As Neil and Steve had just warmed up their ‘experienced’ muscles while batting, the skipper thought they should go ahead and open the bowling before their bodies seized up. It was clear from the start that he Eaton openers were going to go for their shots and try to score quickly. Time for Mr line and length, Hobbs. Dave bowled 2 fantastic overs for just 4 runs and took the wicket of opener Smith for 12. Dave also beat the outside edge on several occasions. Bowling in tandem with Dangerous Dave was Gray. Gray had emailed me in the build up to the game telling me how he had injured his shoulder and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to bowl. Hence I was expecting the worst and loaded the boundaries, but thankfully Gray bowled 2 very tight overs conceding just 5 runs and with the run rate slowing, and pressure building, we nearly forced a run out (more to follow in champagne moment) The run rate had been slowed down with Eaton now on 34 after 8 overs. Harry was to be held back to use as a secret weapon should anyone start scoring quickly but for health and safety reasons, and in wanting to be invited back next year, the decision was taken to let Harry bowl his 2 overs next before the light started fading. Harry bowled his usual quality 2 overs for only 5 runs and was unlucky not to take a wicket, having an edge fly through first slip and barely missing the outside edge and stumps on other occasions. With Eaton now on 46 runs after 12 overs they were beginning to really fall behind and with wickets in hand they were now starting to have a heave at everything. Amaresh was next to bowl and bowled with good pace and could have had a wicket had a difficult catch been held, in fading light, on the boundary. Only 13 conceded off his 2 overs was good considering the aggression of batsmen and the run rate they needed. Nick also bowled a very tidy 2 overs conceding just 12 off the ‘swing at everything’ batsmen and also picked up the important wicket of Wells, stumped for 20. More tidy work by Dev. Phil came on to bowl in the 17th over with Eaton still in the game at 83 – 2. Eaton were really going for it now and after dotting the first ball they tried to go for a single off the second ball but an excellent bit of fielding by Amaresh led to a run out. Bond was next in and immediately out, bowled first ball. The skipper could have had a second wicket but unfortunately the batsman picked out Dave. (Sorry Dave – see champagne moment) Job nearly done but still immense pressure on Mike as he came on to bowl last over. Eaton still in with a swinging chance, needing 18 off the last over. Mike bowled a good last over and victory was complete. An excellent game, and another very tight contest. Everyone contributed with bat, ball or in the field. Fielding was sharp, or at least sharper than Eatons, and the runs that were saved made a big difference. Man of the Match Notable mentions: Harry, a quick 23 runs and bowled 2 overs for 5 Rahul, a quick 12 runs and bowled 2 overs for 8 Dave for a very tight 2 overs, conceding only 4 runs and taking one wicket, and he gave me a lift home But for me it has to be Gray, 25 not out and bowled 2 overs for 5 Champagne moment Few to choose from: Amaresh’s throw for the run out, best piece of cricket from the match. Batsman drove the ball through the covers and decided to take on Amaresh’s arm, big mistake. Amaresh picked it up cleanly and fired in a perfect throw, one bounce straight over the stumps and Dev finished off the job by whipping off the bails. Just realised we used a pink ball. Not rewriting any of match report but couldn’t ignore the fact we used a pink ball so writing it in here. Dave Hobbs and his catching strategy. He explained after the game, ‘I judge the flight of the ball as soon as possible, then carefully move out of the way so it looks like I’ve just misjudged the flight and don’t have to try to catch it.’ Dave then went on to explain his dropped catch off of the skippers bowling,  ‘Unfortunately Phil, I didn’t have a chance to move to make it look like I just missed it. It was coming straight at me and I knew I would drop it, and I did. Sorry.’ He continued digging by stating, ‘if we start playing with tennis balls I’ll try to catch more’. Dave Hobbs #fine leg specialist. My choice though has to be Gray. Gray was bowling the second of his very tight overs and the batsmen were starting to feel the pressure. The ball was played down to Rahul and the batter at non strikers end decided to take a Totty like single that was never on and was rightfully sent back. Rahul picked up well and threw the perfect throw back to Gray, with the batsman a full 5 yards out of the crease. Gray had to complete the simple job of turning around and taking the bails off. However, Gray went for a more unconventional ‘cheeky’ method of dismissal, I believe it to be a mixture of a run out and a stumping, a ‘trumping’. After catching the ball cleanly, he did a quick moonwalk towards the stumps before removing the bails and flattening the stumps with his backside… Decision reviewed by DRS (derrière review system)… NOT OUT the decision, butt don’t blame it on the boogie, blame it on the bootie. A clean sweep for Gray, MoM and champagne moment, well done Gray. Phil

Cholmondeley v Irregs 21/7/13

Result: Cholmondeley 204-7, Irregs 173 in 36.3 overs. Irregs lose by 31 runs.

The morning started with a hangover for the days skipper Graham Houghton from the previous nights celebrations and he also thought he needed to find 2 players, at 11.30 he managed to get washbrook to play and at 12.10 Tom had made contact to say he was fit to play and was on his way with jonty to pick the captain up.

We arrived at the ground about 1 minute late, the toss took place immediately which Houghton lost and we were asked to field. Houghton passed a new cherry to mr Hobbs who bowled with venom and precision but with nothing to show for his efforts. 0-35, Tariq bowled at the opposite end  and also with precision and pace , he was unfortunate that the slips failed to get to any of the many edges he found, he ended up with 3-23 from 10 overs when he only bowled 9 overs?

Tom hall 2-39 and jonty 1-43 were the change bowlers who also impressed the days skipper, dave brown on debut had 2 overs for 11 and washbrook 3 overs for 23 (carted). Mike Pritchard had impressive figures on his
first bowling spell for the irregulars 1-11 many thanks to a close in catch from Tom.

Teas were taken whilst graham tried to work out a winning batting order so he went for Peter and Neil to open and lead the chase unfortunately Peter fell first ball lbw. Nick then joined neil in the middle and showed us all a masterclass in front foot batting and he hit our second top score of 30 before he was caught.

Tariq replaced nick but failed to reproduce his recent exciting form when caught  for 0. Washbrook then joins Neil and our biggest scoring partnership of the day enjoyed  and frustrated the change bowling with many boundaries and quick singles being taken, eventually washbrook was caught behind on 43.

Washbrook was replaced by captain houghton hoping to end his barren spell and not get a irregulars hatrick of ducks, houghton put on 14 which included a 6 at cow corner into a duck pond in the next field (moo), Neil had hung around and frustrated the very quick opening bowlers and then enjoyed the part time bowlers to finally score 17 after 30 overs being given lbw.

Mike Pritchard joins houghton to score his personal  best of 6, Tom hall replaced the captain and failed to add to the scorebook caught behind first ball.

In pops the skippers secret weapon Hobbs who found many edges to score 16 and frustrate the opening bowlers and the 3 men in the slips before being caught, Dave brown put on 4 before missing a straight one, jonty 0 not out

Champagne moments, mike Pritchards personal best of 6 runs and taking his first wicket in his first ever bowling spell. Mike was looking forward to telling his wife of his achievements. Well done mike.

Motm washbrook for his 43 off the change bowling 8 year olds.

Many thanks for a great day guys.

Graham Houghton

Irregs v Kinnerton 11/7/13

Is it any wonder the run came to an end?

Result: Irregs 84-8 from 20 overs, Kinnerton 86-7 in 19th over. Kinnerton win by 3 wickets.

Our six-match unbeaten start to the season ended with a whimper when, despite the best efforts of our bowlers, we just failed to defend the indefensible.

Batting first we once again failed to establish a platform, the top three scoring just seven runs between them with the Bartlems contributing a grand total of zero from four balls faced.

Fortunately Rahul and Kevin repaired some of the damage with a 34-run fourth-wicket partnership and we were 41-3 at the halfway stage.

The alliance was broken when Kevin departed caught for 14 and guest Keith Thompson scratched around for a while without ever discovering his timing.

The innings never really took off once Rahul retired on 25 but a big six from Amaresh did take us to 79-5 with two overs to go and we had visions of creeping up towards the three figures that would have made us competitive.

Sadly Amaresh was then bowled straight away for an entertaining nine and both Mike and Ushan, forced to try to play shots from the get-go, perished for ducks.

Skippy (9*) and Churchy did their best to find a telling blow but the last over yielded just five singles and our final score of 84-8 looked a bit short of what was required.

In the event the bowlers almost performed a miracle – but they were let down by a shoddy display of fielding featuring three dropped catches and countless boundary-leaking misfields.

Harry bowled poorly by his standards to register 4-0-14-0 but Churchy sent down four magnificent overs to claim 3-17 including an all-bowled hat trick – despite a little controversy surrounding victim number two who felt that the bails had been dislodged by the keeper.

Kinnerton skipper Miles Gillespie deserves great credit for taking Thommo’s word and sending the batter on his way.

Once we picked up opener Spink for seven to a smart bit of work from Keith off Ushan’s bowling, we were really in the hunt – but this brought Gillespie to the crease.

He’d already picked up four wickets for just one run and his innings was to prove decisive. We kept chipping away at the other end and there were further wickets for Ushan (4-0-18-2), Tariq (3-0-16-1) and Dave (2-0-4-1).

But we couldn’t shift their skipper and with just four overs to go and the target fast approaching I decided to try to buy his wicket and brought myself on to bowl. Sadly line, length and reliable fielding all proved elusive and the experiment was quickly shelved.

Tariq bowled a tidy 18th over but when Skippy came back for the penultimate over only a handful of runs were needed and our nemesis Gillespie was still at the crease.

Appropriately enough Kinnerton got there halfway through the over with yet another boundary thanks to a misfield. Disappointing end to a great run – this time our luck just ran out.

It was still a fantastic effort and, if we include the two victories at the end of 2012, that makes eight on the trot before tasting defeat.

Man of the match: Rahul has solid claims with his 25 not out but it has to be Churchy for the second-ever Irregulars hat trick.

Champagne moment: sorely tempted by Amaresh’s gloriously-timed swipe for six into the cow field. But it has to be Churchy again and the final ball of his hat trick. This time there was no room for argument as the stumps were comprehensively rearranged.

Neil

Irregs v Mollington 24/6/13

Result: Mollington 83-4 from 20 overs, Irregs 84-8 from 18.3 overs. Irregs win by 2 wickets.

The ramshackle, invincible Irregulars recorded our sixth straight win of the season with another heart-stoppingly close finish against a Mollington side who must have thought they’d finished us off when we were tottering at 49-8.

It had all started so well with a terrific performance in the field (well, at least everyone looked awake this time). We didn’t take many wickets but we managed to keep the batsmen under control and, although there were still a few bad balls from the wind-affected field end, they went largely unpunished.

Phil’s three overs cost just 14 and debutant Tariq bowled a superb spell of 4-0-6-0, an economy rate that was to prove crucial later on. Ushan, who came on first change and also returned to bowl a steady final over, went for 22 from his four but the prime wicket-taker was Dave Hobbs with three for 14 – two clean-bowled and one stumped to a smart bit of work by Pete, who later remarked that he always stands up to the slow bowlers.

Rahul struggled to find any rhythm in his single over but the returning Churchy, showing few signs of his catastrophic shoulder injury, bowled a spell full of guile and variation to record 4-0-15-1. To say the very least those stats don’t flatter him as he conceded two boundaries to misfields including a bizarre incident when Tariq booted the ball over the rope from about 30 yards away.

It could have been better still if convincing-looking shouts for an LBW and a run-out hadn’t been turned down. But a target of about four an over looked very gettable on a pitch that was playing better than might have been expected after the soaking it received the previous day.

Jonathan and Rahul opened our reply and the lessons of the last practice game had clearly been taken on board as they registered some quick singles to be nine without loss after the first couple of overs. So far, so good. Then the wheels started to come off.

Jonathan was caught and bowled for four, Pete run out for three, Rahul caught for nine and Nigel yorked for a quacker by about the only wicket-taking ball in the whole of our innings that actually deserved a victim.

That left us in tatters at 20-4, a situation not helped by the fact that Phil had aggravated a groin strain virtually as soon as he arrived at the crease and was busily unfurling an astounding repertoire of one-legged swipes and reverse sweeps, mostly without connecting. Much of this was taking place with Tariq as a runner but he was soon taking guard himself after Phil departed for five.

Almost straight away I joined the lemming-like dash to the pavilion by top-edging to slip for five and, with the score on 37-6 and the top six having mustered just 26 runs between them, Tariq must have thought he’d joined Fred Karno’s Circus rather than a cricket team.

It was to get worse before it got better. Ushan was caught and bowled for one (38-7) and Amaresh, after a short but eventful innings, caught for five (49-8). With six overs remaining we still needed an improbable 33 to win.

The one glimmer of hope was that Tariq had already hit a couple of boundaries and was looking good. But could anyone stay with him? Enter our unlikely saviour, Dave “Jack” Hobbs.

Batting at 10, Skippy made the rest of us look very silly indeed as he picked his shots, including a couple of nice legside boundaries, and rapidly began to catch Tariq.

At one stage there was only a run in it before Tariq accelerated away to his retirement on 25 not out. By that time the partnership was worth 33 and the game, largely thanks to an 18th over that yielded 12 runs, was suddenly there for the taking.

Number 11 Churchy strolled out with 12 balls left to score the two runs required for victory. He played a couple of text book forward defensives before calmly driving past the bowler and, perhaps mindful of his 0.5 batting average from last season, had to be talked out of running a redundant third.

Mollington looked understandably gutted at the end. My God, we make it difficult for ourselves but we don’t half bat deep. There are no passengers in this Irregulars team as we hurtle towards Kinnerton next Thursday and the chance to set a record of seven consecutive wins.

Man of the match: how do you choose between Tariq’s outstanding debut effort with bat and ball and Skippy’s three wickets and unbeaten 19 at the end? You can’t, so I’m going to bottle it and award a joint MoM this time.

Champagne moment: very tempted by Amaresh’s full-length dive to narrowly avoid a run-out, emerging with  skinned elbow, sore finger and very dirty shirt in a display of true commitment. But it has to be Dave Hobbs’ authentic back-foot crunch for four through the covers. This was no swipe at a long hop. This was a beautiful cricket shot. I think Skippy’s trying to tell us something.

Neil

Irregulars v Blue Cey Lions 2/6/13

Format: 35 overs. Venue: Northop CC. Scores: Blue Cey Lions 195 all out, Irregulars 196-7 from 34.5 overs. Result: Irregulars win by 3 wickets.

After the cancellation last year, both Irregulars and the Sri Lankans were eager to play this fixture. The game almost got cancelled (again) with eight of their players unavailable (so we were told)…but they somehow managed to get eleven players to fulfil the fixture. With few of the (regular) irregular members also not available (some clearly not wanting to face the Sri Lankan bowlers!), two guests were roped into strengthen the Irregulars – Mike Hughes (current Chairman at Northop CC who still plays the odd game for the seconds/thirds) and his son Tom (who is a very talented young player who is a regular in the Northop first team).

It was a glorious sunny afternoon at Northop, perfect for cricket…total contrast to the ‘hailstones’ and ‘freezing’ conditions we had during our last game! The match was due to start at 2 pm but due to late arrival of the opposition players, it was decided to reduce to 35 overs per side. Rules agreed – no batting retirements, 7 overs maximum per bowler and anything down the leg side given as a wide – the game eventually started at 2.30pm. Sri Lankans batted first. There were plenty of spectators at the club to watch the talented Irregulars (…or may be to enjoy the weather and a pint!)

Slightly worn out but a grassy pitch prompted skipper to open with Wayne (for his pace) and Dave (for his accuracy). The Sri Lankan openers started cautiously against some tight bowling. The first wicket fell in the eleventh over with the score at 37 when the more sedate opener decided to charge down the wicket to loft Ushan over mid wicket but missed the ball completely and was stumped down the leg side by Ian for 9. The other opener went on to score 47 and was eventually caught by Wayne running back and clinging onto a terrific one handed catch over his head! Their number 4 and 5 looked very decent players and started to accumulate runs at will. Left handed number 4 was eventually clean bowled by Dave for a stylish 32 runs. The number 5 (apparently who has not played cricket for three years!) was eventually caught buy Tom on the long on boundary off the bowling of his dad for an impressive 60 runs. They were eventually all out in the last over for a very competitive total of 195 off their 35 overs. All the bowlers bowled well but the pick of the bowlers was Mike Hughes with 5 for 48 off 7 overs. Wayne, Dave, Tom and Ushan all took a wicket each.

Both teams were looking forward to the mid innings refreshments after a hot day in the middle. The standard ‘posh’ teas were laid down by Louise. After a quick tactical team talk by the captain, openers Tom and Pete went to the middle hopefully to give us a decent start. In particular, Tom was asked to stay there and the others to play around him…at least that was the plan! The plan went horribly wrong when Tom hit the second ball he faced straight to mid wicket and getting out for a duck!

Nick went in at number three and started to (re)build the innings with Pete. They were facing some accurate Sri Lankan bowling but still managed collect the singles and the odd boundary. Few wides down the leg side also helped our cause! Pete was the first to depart in the 10^th over having put on a 50 run partnership with Nick. Wayne was in at number 4 with very clear instructions – ‘not to push too hard but to stay there and others will bat around you’. After hitting one boundary… a few balls later he was pushing for a second run that never existed…and was run out for 8! The score was 62 off 12 overs. Nick was next to get out for a well played 16 (bowled by the guy who has not played cricket for three 3 years). Ian was next in but was complaining of a sore finger. He was examined and reassured…not by one, but by three team doctors…that he has not broken his finger and was asked go and ‘get on with it’. He did not disappoint! After hitting two fours he then lofted a ball to the car park for a six…the ball landing between two cars in front…bouncing off the tarmac…and then landing on Ushans’ car shattering the windscreen! In hindsight…diagnosing a broken finger would have been the better option than a broken windscreen! Ian then getting out the next ball…?

At half way mark with the score at 96/6, Amaresh joined Rahul still needing 100 to win. They batted sensibly scoring ones and twos at will with the odd boundary to push on the score. Having put on a 41 run partnership, Amaresh departed for a well played 16. Mike joined Rahul in the 26^th over still needing 59 runs off 9 overs. With his cool wise head Mike played the anchor role while Rahul started to open up. The Sri Lankans started panic and brought back their best bowlers to try and break the partnership.  By this time Rahul has got his eye in and was finding the gaps between the boundary line fielders…and we were edging towards a famous victory.

In came down to the last over needing 6 runs to win. Mike was facing! First ball was a wide down the leg (yes they wanted to play this rule!), Mike then took a quick single giving the strike back to Rahul, Rahul took a single off the third, fourth was a dot, fifth was a front foot no ball (according to Graham!) but no run was taken, sixth was a single to Mike (the tensed spectators at the club house started to shout ‘1 off 2 balls’), Rahul hitting the winning run off next ball to seal the victory with one ball to spare!! Rahul 47 not out, Mike Hughes 16 not out.

It was a truly memorable game of cricket. Both teams and the packed club house thoroughly enjoyed the day. Hand shakes all round and the teams sat down at the bar for a well deserved home made Sri Lankan curry and a decent pint…with Sri Lankan music playing in the back ground to reflect and analyse the game.

Man of the match: There were two contenders, firstly Mike with his all-round performance both with bat and ball (5 for 48 and 16 not out), and secondly Rahul for his 47 not out. It was a tight call…but without his brave and gusty batting…Irregulars would have never won. So my man of the match is Rahul…well done!

Champagne moment: How rare is it for a ball to miss two cars in the front and then land precisely on the car parked behind and to land on the windscreen! So this has to be the Champagne moment.

Post match update: After four days, Autoglass finally replaced my windscreen. I had to take the train to Bangor to get to work. Patching up a broken windscreen with tape, bin bags and cardboard and picking up broken pieces of glass was not fun. You will never see my car parked in that car park ever again!!

Ushan

Irregulars v Carmel Thirds 23/5/13

Result: Carmel 84-7, Irregs 88-7 from 20 overs. Result: Irregs win by 3 wickets.

Champagne Moment: Neil Bartlem and his sprint between the wickets.

Report (written from memory and without the score book):

It was a lovely summer evening in North Wales. The sun was just starting to drop after yet another baking hot day, inducing a feeling of great sleepiness in all but the most junior.

The Northop Irregulars team turned up in their best Bermuda shorts, flowery shirts and sun hats, coated head to foot in as much Factor 50 as they could get their hands on. In future years people will not remember the ‘Great Sun Tan Shortage of May 2013’.

After losing the toss and Carmel electing to bat first, the Northop Irregulars guest skipper decided to start the game without Pete Langham, the Irregulars wicket keeper, who was stuck in a large queue of hot and bothered tourists, all desperate to escape to the coast to cool off. Most of Manchester was sat around him on the M56, and a late arrival was inevitable. Nick Reay very sportingly volunteered to take up the easiest job on the field and don a pair of gloves.

After borrowing a couple of fielders until all the missing players arrived, including Ushan and Amaresh, Northop Irregulars began the game with a slightly different bowling attack to the one usually employed.

Dave Hobbs opened the bowling into the gentle summer’s breeze at the church end, with Ushan Andrady commencing the vicious bodyline bowling he is famous for from the pavilion end.

Fielders were heard to remark on how fortunate they were to be enjoying such beautiful weather and what a difficult job it must have been for the groundsman to keep the cricket pitch so green with so little moisture available in the air.

Dave Hobbs pinned down the Carmel batsmen very effectively indeed, apart from one minor fielding mishap by the guest skipper, who was the victim of a very unfortunate bounce off the hard, unforgiving pitch as the ball sent him one way whilst spinning in the other direction.

Ushan remarked on how difficult it was to run in with the sun on his back, beating down on him and causing rivers of sweat to drip off his nose. He still managed to take a very good wicket with great use of an inswinging Yorker.

After the first 6 overs, Carmel had posted about 10 runs. The regular skipper was busy extolling the troops to walk in, concentrate, try harder, back the bowler and generally do everything possible to drive the Boche back into the sea. The guest skipper was happy just to stand in the sunshine and advise fielders to move a bit further to the left or right depending on where the ball had just disappeared to.

Amaresh and Will Webster, a guest from Maeshafn, were next up for a bowl. Amaresh had to experience the gentle summer breeze, which held his balls up in the air and presented a few runs for Carmel (as well as a wicket – caught out of the sun by Wayne Totty), Will Webster managed to yell “howzat” so loudly the umpire put his finger up in the air out of self-defence.

Next up for a bowl was Neil Bartlem. After spending so long skippering and being generally reluctant to introduce his own bowling for fear of experiencing 36 run overs, he performed like a tiger let loose from his cage for the first time in years, snarling at the batsman and whipping his arm across with such ferocity as to scare the umpires into taking a step back from the wicket. The guest skipper, wisely calculating that the Bartlem Bomb was being thrown accurately down off side, did not provide any leg protection at all, and this made Neil growl even more loudly at the batsmen and his team mates. Neil’s figures were probably much better than Neil imagined them to be and the guest skipper suspects he ought to let himself bowl a little more often than he does…

The guest skipper then brought himself on for a few overs of alternative bowling. Nothing much happened at all during this time apart from a wicket from the last ball. No champagne moments. Absolutely nothing to mention.

The regular skipper was fielding at point during the innings and had continued to rouse the troops, reminding them of their duty to King and Country. The next two bowlers were Kevin Patterson, who managed two very good overs with his alternative off breaks, and Wayne Totty, too hot to bowl quickly and sending down something he was calling ‘spin’.

During Wayne’s ‘spin’ bowling, a Carmel batsman managed to cut one straight past point. The regular skipper stuck his arm out, thought about stopping it for a brief moment, considered the ramifications for his fortunes if he broke his fingers, and put his arm back in again quickly, turning and running after it instead.

I can’t remember who got any of the other wickets, but Harry Bartlem came on at the end in a cunning twist devised by the guest skipper called “forgetting how many overs have been bowled” and promptly removed 2 wickets – both middle stump. The entire Irregulars team stood around the batsman for the hat trick ball but alas it was not forthcoming.

Carmel finished on 83’ish.

The batting order had already been devised and Wayne Totty & Pete Langham went out to knock off the runs and enable us all to have a pint of cold lager in the club house after an enjoyable evening in the sun.

Wayne Totty set off like a steam train, hitting a 6 and a 4 before falling to a wrong ‘un and strolling back to the club house. Ushan Andrady was sent out to steady the ship, but fell victim to an umpire’s very itchy finger on a run out.

Nick Reay steadied the ship again, which was rocking a little bit, and the Langham/Reay partnership added a few runs to the total. I think the sun got a little too bright for Nick and a low ball wasn’t picked up in the glare of the evening sun.

Pete Langham followed after an umpire adjudged him LBW. Will Webster, guest ringer, star batsman, popped out to finish off the session and send us home early, but alas caught a thick edge and trundled off again without scoring.

The ship was running aground on a few rocks and a sandbank.

Harry Bartlem disappeared out to the crease with the Irregulars floundering somewhere in the 30’s. He returned approximately 14 balls later having socked a quick 25 around the ground.

We were back in the game. By now the sun had dropped and the temperature started to fall to a more comfortable level.

Kevin Patterson went out to the crease with a lot of expectation hanging over him. The expectation was that he would get bowled out (as would most of the remainder of the team) by the rather experienced Tim Abrahams who usually performs at a high league standard and is not particularly known for chucking pies.

Kevin performed magnificently, hitting a total that was probably a reasonable amount, but not having the scorebook I can’t add it here! Two very well placed clicks over first slip were particularly memorable.

Did anyone else go out to bat? Oh yes. Neil Bartlem.

Champagne Moment of the Match – Neil Bartlem

The ball was hit (I think it was by Kevin Patterson), and Neil set off to run as fast as he possibly could from one end to the other.

So fast, in fact, his running was compared to that of a gazelle escaping from a rabid lion who hadn’t eaten for a month. Spectators were heard to observe that such speed had not been seen since Usain Bolt won the 100 metres Olympic final in July.

Unfortunately Neil was beaten to the other end by the cricket ball, which had been thrown 10 yards underarm by an 80 year old carrying a walking stick, crippled with arthiritis and wearing an eye patch, and hit middle stump. His efforts were wasted, and all his work for King and Country was but a distant memory.

Amaresh and Kevin (I think) finished off the match needing 1 run from the final 3 balls, managing to hit a 6 with the final ball of the match which included a helmet, and Northop Irregulars went home worthy winners.

Hurrah. I can stop writing now.

Jonathan Fagan

Irregulars v Flexsys 12/5/13

Result: Irregs 116-6 from 20 overs, Flexsys 89 from 18.3 overs. Irregs win by 27 runs.

Sunday the 12^th of May was our third fixture of the season (nearly as many as last year already!) at home to Flexsys. Due to the poor weekend weather and a forecast of more rain to come, what was initially down as a forty over game was reduced to a twenty/twenty knock on the artificial wicket after discussions between the two wise captains…. Credit to the opposition for travelling to Northop, the easy option would have been to call it off especially as they only had eight players. The Irregulars had a good side out finished off nicely by the recruitment of international star Rachel, thanks to W Totty. Flexsys bolstered their numbers with two Northop juniors including Tony’s son Henry.

The toss was won and the decision made to bat first in what were going to be tricky conditions under foot with spikes now removed, particularly for the bowlers. Neil and Graham set off to open having decided to take bats rather than umbrellas and got us away to a nice solid start, picking up runs off anything slightly loose and keeping the scoreboard moving along, helped by the opening bowler from the road end not changing his run up for the slippery surface and giving away a load of extras (and the ‘scorers’ a headache). Graham was out bowled by Stoddart for a quick fire 15 off only 16 balls including a well hit 6.

Rahul was in at three joining Neil who looked set for a lengthy stay at the crease but was out not long after for nine, adjudged lbw by umpire Totty! This was an early contender for champagne moment and greeted with much laughter by the watching Irregulars! Being good teammates, when Neil got back to the clubhouse we all agreed with him that he did seem well forward!

Mike was in next and along with Rahul was up against some accurate bowling of the slow and low variety that’s hard to get away, with quick singles difficult on the greasy wicket. Mike was bowled by the tricky Stoddart, bringing captain for the day Reay to the crease. A poor run out with direct hit accounted for Rahul with both batsmen at fault, something to improve on in future games.

Wayne was in next and didn’t hang around, playing some nice strokes to get us going again before breaking his bat after one shot, running a quick single with just the handle to carry! With the field starting to spread there were a few ones and twos available which were easier to run on the grass than the artificial strip. The conditions brought about some moments of comedy cricket with bowlers, batsmen and fielders all slip sliding around! A steady partnership was building with Totty leading the way, mixing boundaries and singles (usually at the end of the over!) until Reay was bowled by Collier for 15.

This brought in big hitting Phil Hamilton for the last few overs, fresh from his heroics at Carmel.

Finding the persistent Collier difficult to punish early in his innings, Phil resorted to his trusty reverse sweep only to hit the ball straight to short point. Calling for a very risky (at best!) single, Hamilton was sent back by Totty and just to add some more comedy drama to a situation that already had plenty, promptly fell over! Luckily for Phil he was saved from a run out by his long reach (6’2.5) and got off the mark with a well hit 4.

Hitting the second six of the innings saw Wayne to a well earned retirement and top score of 34 not out.

Tony then had the unenviable task of going into bat to face the very last ball of the innings and gave it a heave-ho but was bowled by the accurate Stoddart. Irregulars 116-6 off 20 overs. Hamilton 5 not out.

With 117 needed to win and the batting retirement limit set at 30 runs, we were quietly confident of making it a difficult task for the opposition.

Wayne and Dave opened the bowling in difficult conditions finding it tough going against the hard hitting openers (the greasy wicket bringing back memories of Fenns Bank for Dave and his white plimsolls!). Despite this both bowlers stuck to the task and could have easily picked up a couple of wickets.

At sixty for none after only eight overs things were looking none too clever but the retirement of both openers and the introduction of Rachel and Phil into the bowling attack against the new batsmen turned the game around in our favour. Rachel bowled an outstanding four over spell conceding only three runs and taking two wickets, both bowled. Every ball was the right line and length giving the batsmen no margin for error at all which they didn’t have an answer to. Phil was also in on the act taking three wickets (two bowled plus a neat catch from Rahul) and probably should have had a fourth lbw, going for only 12 runs from his four overs.

It’s an old adage but bowling in pairs really puts the batsmen under the cosh, even more so in a short game like this. A couple of run outs, doubtless the result of the tight bowling, compounded the opposition’s misery.

Eight overs for only 17 runs with the loss of seven wickets, there was only one team in it!

Amaresh and Rahul were next to bowl and despite the return of the openers our grip on the game was now too tight, both bowlers picking up a well deserved wicket to finish the game off in the 19^th over. A mention for Amaresh who despite not bowling at his best was rewarded for his perseverance.

Flexsys all out for 89. Irregulars win by 27 runs! Well done all.

I think by the end most of us were pretty bedraggled and glad to be finished. As Tony said we looked like we’d been playing rugby! Where’s the vanish?!

As captain for the day I was really pleased to see a few more people making their presence felt and voice heard in the field. That’s what we should be aiming for; to get everyone involved not just the usual two or three people. Support and encouragement should be the least we can all offer. Also if you notice something or have an idea, don’t be afraid to make a suggestion, it is a team game after all!

Now to the awards….

Player of the match: There was a good knock from Wayne which could have won on another day, Phil’s three wickets, but for a top bowling display it’s got to be the one and only Rachel Warrenger! I think the pink hair would suit a few more of our team!

Champagne moment: We had Neil’s lbw, Phil’s reverse sweep and a couple of comedy falls, but I’m going for Wayne breaking his bat. A classic Totty moment!

Nick

Carmel Thirds v Irregulars 28/4/13

Irregs 109 from 36 overs. Match abandoned at the interval.

A battling display at wet and windy Carmel saw us reach a score that, given the conditions, we were confident of defending – but sadly the contest never got beyond the tea interval. The blueberry muffins were the only winners.

Our primary target was to bat the overs and early progress was very hard work against a side that won last year’s North Wales Thirds league at a canter.

Pete grafted away for eight overs for his five before falling to a fine catch at mid-on. Graham eked out six runs from a similar number of overs before just failing to see off the bowling of Carmel’s skipper Nick Hughes, bowled in the last over of his spell.

After 16 overs the score was 27-2, a much better effort than it looks on paper, and a double bowling change brought on a pair of erratic young spinners and the chance to cash in on all that hard work.

Sadly, I fell for 13 mistiming a long hop but at 47-3 after 22 overs, we were well placed for an acceleration. Then things got a bit sticky.

We lost five wickets in the next seven overs: Rahul for a decent 13, Nick for 3, Tony for 1, debutant Mike Pritchard for 5 and Wayne also for five after somehow playing on from several strides in front of the crease. Oh Wayne…

Fortunately the next seven overs went rather better for us, as Phil and Amaresh posted a 42-run partnership with some adventurous hitting and running. Phil took the game to Carmel by hitting four boundaries, twice as many of the rest of us combined, in his undefeated 25.

This ninth wicket pair succeeded in dragging the score up to 109, a very tough ask on a damp wicket and sodden outfield, before Nick Hughes brought himself back on to finish the innings with a double-wicket maiden – beating Amaresh for pace lbw, castling young Will Wallis for a duck and reminding us what we’d been up against in the first part of the innings. He finished with figures of 6-2-4-3.

A good disciplined effort in our first 40-over contest of the summer and confirmation that in these longer games it’s often the lower order that makes the score.

Man of the innings: Phil, no question. Amaresh is mentioned in dispatches.

Champagne moment: the very first ball is a prime candidate, as we ran a single and then, unexpectedly shouted for a second from an overthrow, Pete fell right on his arse. Pausing only to flatten a fielder who had the temerity to get in his way, he scuttled off to complete the run. It was then, I think, that Carmel knew what they were up against.

But it has to be the moment when Phil, 23 runs into his innings, finally unveiled the reverse sweep that we all knew was coming. And he managed to hit the ball, too.

Neil

Irregulars v Northop u15s 18/4/13

Result: Northop u15s 100-3 from 18 overs, Irregs 101-5 from 17.5 overs. Irregs win by 5 wickets.

Well, we may have been rustier than a bag of six-inch nails left out in the rain but we won. We reminded the u15s that it’s not just about talent, technique and being able to get your shoes on in the morning without wincing. It’s about low animal cunning as well. Not to mention concealing a 16-year-old ringer in the ranks to play them at their own game.

A young Northop side top-loaded their batting order with their best players. They opened with Alistair, scion of  the distinguished Andrady dynasty, and Scott, fruit of Oatesy’s loins (a dread phrase indeed).

The fact that our first task of the evening had been to turn a sightscreen the right way up tells you the conditions were windy. Not being able to hear yourself think (or me bellowing like a randy bullock) may have gone some way to explaining our dreadful lethargy in the field.

The Northop youngsters seemed to be able to pick up quick singles at will when they weren’t smashing legside long hops and full tosses to the boundary.

In fairness the blokes bowling into the wind had a rough deal and struggled to find the right line for the conditions. The stats tell the story: the bowlers from the car park end conceding just 24 in nine overs while the poor bloody infantry at the far end went for a collective 65.

Dave’s 4-0-24-0 doesn’t look great on paper but was probably no worse than par for a blustery course. But Jonathan and Harry, the latter sulking and wayward after being asked to bowl at three-quarters pace, both went for about eight an over.

Guest Steve Norbury with 4-0-11-0 and Ushan with an exemplary 3-0-4-1, picking up Scott Oates for 16 to a catch by Norbs at extra cover, were the best of the bowlers. Debutant Amaresh Swaro notched his first wicket by bowling Rachel Warrenger for nought.

Niall was the other wicket to fall, run out by a good throw from Kevin at square leg with Ushan whipping off the bails at the bowler’s end. Alistair resisted all we could throw at him for a good 25 retired and the u15s’ final score of a round 100, swelled by a productive final over, looked a stiff target first game up.

Pete and Nick started the reply but it wasn’t long before Nick took an early lead in the duck race and early progress against decent bowling was sedate. Sensing the need to get on with it, Pete swiped a couple of boundaries before trying the trick once too often to be castled for 11 while Dev was caught for six. Perhaps it would all have been different if he had had time to put on his fluorescent orange bat grip before rather than after the game.

This brought Norbs to the crease in the pivotal number four position and he immediately looked to be timing the ball nicely. However, it wasn’t long before Kevin perished going for a second run and, with four wickets down and well behind the rate, we weren’t making a very good fist of things.

We’d scored just 40 from the first nine overs so Steve and I thought it was time to press the accelerator and we did succeed in exerting a bit more pressure on the bowlers. By the time I ran myself out for a reasonably brisk 16 the stage was set for a cameo from Harry batting at number seven.

Going into the final two overs we still required 18 but Harry had his eye in now and the first four balls of the over went for a punishing sequence of six, dot, two and six.

So, suddenly just four required from eight balls. Time to celebrate, surely? Not so fast. Harry had to retire on 28 not out, creating a squeaky bum moment for Amaresh who strode out to join Norbs but could only dot the last two balls of the over.

Four from six suddenly seemed less straightforward, especially when Steve took a single from the first ball of the last over to leave Amaresh on strike. Nerves were really jangling when he failed to connect with two wild heaves, making it three from three required.

Then he finally smacked two runs to bring the scores level and a scruffy edge and a dashed single off the penultimate ball were enough for a deserved if rather laboured victory.

Man of the match: Ushan with his fine bowling and Harry with his blistering 28 including a four and three sixes both have strong claims. But it has to go to Steve Norbury, who didn’t bowl a single bad ball and held the innings together to finish with an undefeated 23.

Champagne moment: Dev tentatively enquiring if Harry was going to be bowling fast, being reassured that he was only trundling in and then promptly letting the first ball through his legs for four byes.

Neil

Fixtures 2013

Thurs 18 April, home v Northop u15s. Skipper: Neil.  WIN BY 5 WICKETS

Sun 28 April away v Carmel Thirds. Skipper: Neil. ABANDONED

Sun 12 May home v Flexsys. Skipper: Nick. WIN BY 27 RUNS

Thurs 23 May, home v Carmel Thirds. Skipper: Jonathan. WIN BY 3 WICKETS

Sun 2 June home v Blue Cey Lions, 1pm start. Skipper: Ushan. WIN BY 3 WICKETS

Sun 16 June home v Dodleston. Skipper: Pete. WIN BY 89 RUNS.

Mon 24 June, home v Mollington. Skipper: Neil. WIN BY 2 WICKETS

Thurs 4 July, home v Kinnerton. Skipper: Steve. CANCELLED

Thurs 11 July, home v Kinnerton. Skipper: Neil. LOSS BY 3 WICKETS

Sun 14 July home v Shotton Steel FC. Skipper: Nick. WIN BY 38 RUNS

Sun 21 July away v Cholmondeley, 1.30pm start. Skipper: Graham. LOSS BY 31 RUNS

Thurs 8 August away v Eaton. Skipper: Phil. WIN BY 8 RUNS

Sun 18 August away v Nantclwyd. Skipper: Dave. LOSS BY 11 RUNS

Sun 8 September home v Mollington. Skipper: Graham. ABANDONED

Sun 15 September home v Maeshafn, 1pm start. Skipper: Neil. WIN BY 3 (2) WICKETS